He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
