if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
