bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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