I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
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Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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