Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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