This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize