I looked at my own cervix.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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