...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
