I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You don't make any sense
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