his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
