I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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