Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
