Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize