just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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