he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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