Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
