Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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