420 ftw
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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