what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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