we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize