You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
