You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
