I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
