I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
