My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
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