Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
