and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
