DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
