how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
