You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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