Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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