I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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