that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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