There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I will be naked everywhere
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
