I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
