haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
