One girl and one boy is just not enough.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize
