HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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