does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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