he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize