I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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