If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
