Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
