My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
