Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
