Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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