The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
