He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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