all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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