I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
