So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Drake has all the answers
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
