Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
