She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
