Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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