I puked a lego.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
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I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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