can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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