I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
they're like a gay fantastic four
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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