I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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