DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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