? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
