i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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