she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
