there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
