I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
