It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
