i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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